


there's a hole where your heart lies

by lovecanbesostrange



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, despite what the first paragraph suggests this is not a 2nd person fic, don't worry she gets to say some stuff in flashbacks, yes I kill Granny in this let this be my fandom legacy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 23:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovecanbesostrange/pseuds/lovecanbesostrange
Summary: Ruby is happy with Dorothy, but one call from Storybrooke and her world comes crashing down. How could she ever handle losing Granny? And how can Dorothy deal with an emotional closed off girlfriend in a town where everybody is all about hope and hugs?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [konako](https://archiveofourown.org/users/konako/gifts).



> The idea formed before S5 even ended, so I started imagining Belle with a daughter and also Rumple is so out of town ever since. So that's your rough estimate where we are, no need for anything canon after 5x18 anyway.

One moment can change a life forever. Ruby knew that in all its devastating consequences. Sometimes you could prepare yourself. A battle meant victory or defeat. Sometimes you think you knew what was coming. Believing you were there to help, only to find out that you had been the monster all along. Taking the life of the boy you love instead of being by his side forever. But then there are moments that blindside you. One second everything is normal and then your whole world comes crashing down. And you don’t know how anything could possibly be alright ever again.

Ruby and Dorothy were out in the fields. They’ve had some trouble with wild boars destroying crops, but the past few days had been quiet. The problem seemed solved.

“I think we can take that break you wanted. Spend some time in Storybrooke again.” Dorothy put her sword that she had been swinging around with back and took Ruby’s hand. “The munchkins can take care of themselves for a bit. I’d rather have some of your Granny’s pancakes and enjoy that whirlpool again.”

Ruby smiled. “Yes, please. But I think I’ll have to have a serious talk with Granny. She’s spoiling you way too much.”

“What can I say, I have a way with the Lucas women to get what I want,” with that she leaned over for a kiss.

“Dorothy! Dorothy!” The sound of the Tin Woodman’s voice came rather unexpected and made the two women jump. “You should come quick. There’s a mirror in your hut asking for you.”

The mirror had been a parting gift the last time they’d been to Storybrooke. Enchanted by Regina so they could use it to communicate even without complicated magic. Ruby had joked that they should start a fairytale version of a phone company.

When Ruby reached the hut she thought that she had prepared herself for the worst. Ogres or gremlins invading Storybrooke. Gold returning and being up to something extra sinister. But then she saw Regina’s blank expression and froze.

“What’s wrong,” she asked, unsure if she really wanted an answer. A bad feeling swept through her body.

“Ruby, we need you back home. I promised Snow I’d get you, but she will explain the rest.”

It was Regina’s voice that gave Ruby chills. Or rather the complete absence of any of her usual underlying snark. This was all too serious. Dorothy was already kneeling behind the bed so she could get the slippers from beneath the floorboards.

All in all it had been less than twenty minutes since they’d stood on a field in Oz and when they now appeared in front of Granny’s diner, it was a different world in more ways than one. The door opened the second the smoke from the teleportation settled and Snow came out to greet them.

“Ruby,” she stood in the entrance and just looked at her best friend. It was an expression Ruby had seen before. In another life. When she had been disoriented after waking up in a world without Peter. Snow took slow steps towards her and Ruby just wanted to run the other way. Only Dorothy holding her hand kept her in place. “Ruby, I’m… I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t you dare,” was all Ruby could utter. That knot in her stomach was ready to burst and Ruby was sure she would be shattered into pieces along with it. Snow stood before her. Her eyes red and puffy, the trail of shed tears still visible.

“I am so sorry. It’s Granny,” she put her arms around Ruby beneath her red cloak, trying to hold her up in case her knees might give in.

But Ruby was frozen to the spot. Her mind refusing to process what Snow was trying to say. “No, she is fine. We just talked about returning. Taking a vacation. Granny wants us to come back, so she can complain about the extra work while she makes breakfast. And…,” her voice trailed off. Her hand in Dorothy’s had gone slack, Snow’s hug not reciprocated.

Dorothy looked from Snow to Ruby and back. Unsure what she was supposed to do. She had only met Granny a few times, but had felt welcome like she’d always been a part of this family. “What happened?”

“Belle found her in her bed. She must’ve died in her sleep.” Snow looked at Ruby, trying to lock their eyes, but she was already seeing past her.

“No,” Ruby was not ready to hear this and jerked herself free from the others. She ran through the diner, taking the shortest route to the personal quarters. She barely registered the people that had already gathered until she saw Belle and Dr. Whale in the hallway in front of Granny’s bedroom.

“Ruby, you-,” but Ruby pushed past before Belle could say anything. With trembling fingers she turned the doorknob and stepped into the all too familiar scent that meant Granny. That meant home.

A white sheet was pulled over the bed, the silhouette of a person clearly visible. Was that really Granny underneath? Would Ruby find her grandmother, the woman who had raised her, who gave up on her own dreams to care for her, the one who had paid a high price for the cloak she was wearing that could tell the family secret?

Dorothy and Snow had found their way up. Belle gave Dorothy a brief hug. A hallo and also a sorry and the only thing to do where there was nothing else to say. They watched as Ruby lifted the sheet and waited for a reaction. Something. Anything. But Ruby just sat down, picked up Granny’s hand carefully with her own and never took her eyes off of her face. Not a sob, not a scream.

Whale cleared his throat. “I better go now. Like I said, there was nothing that could be done this morning. In this town you never know, but I’m pretty sure it was a heart attack during the night. She probably never woke up.”

Dorothy gave up fighting back the tears. It was hard for her figuring out her emotions. This reminded her a lot about the passing of her Aunt Em. And she had to think about the night when Ruby told her about what happened in the Underworld. How she was obliterated a second time. That had hurt all over again. And now here she was, watching as roles were reversed.

She went into the room, let her gloves fall to the floor and put a hand on Ruby’s shoulder, letting her know she was there. “If-“, she had to stop. Trying to speak just pushed more tears forward. So instead Dorothy sat down behind Ruby, put her left arm around her and pressed her head against her back. If only she could soak up the sadness like this. If there was a way that Ruby wouldn’t have to go through this.

Ruby didn’t react to the touch. She just sat still, one foot on the ground, her left knee bent so her boot dangled over the edge of the bed and Granny’s lifeless hand in her own. She didn’t tense up, she didn’t flinch, she didn’t lean back into Dorothy’s embrace. Her breath steady.

___________________

Dorothy thought about the time Ruby had introduced her to Granny. She went into the diner first and wanted Dorothy to give her five minutes alone. Not that Ruby was afraid about any bad reaction, but this was a big step. Meeting the family was nothing to joke about.

  
When Dorothy entered she saw exactly the old woman she had pictured in her mind. Resolute with a no-nonsense air around her, right down to the piercing stare above her glasses. Granny was already seizing her up from head to toe, before she even said hallo. “You are the one making my Ruby happy?”

It had been a while since Dorothy had felt intimidated by anyone, but all she could reply was a very firm: “Yes, ma’am.”

And with that Granny softened, pulled her in for a hug and clapped her on the back. “Good answer. Now don’t you forget this and keep up whatever you’re doing. I haven’t seen this child smile like that since I let her learn how to shoot with a bow and arrow.”

The second Granny let her go she was already off to the kitchen. “Now, you two need to get some real food. I have a new turkey burger on the menu.”

With that Ruby pulled Dorothy towards a booth and grinned from ear to ear. A sight that made Dorothy’s heart flutter. If Granny didn’t exaggerate too much there was a lot of time wasted, not seeing this genuine smile at least once a day.

“Granny likes you.”

“That’s a relief, because I’m not sure I’d want to duel her to proof I’m worthy to keep you.”

“Kansas, I’m shocked, you want to make me a kept woman?”

Dorothy rolled her eyes. “This is what you focus on? Wasn’t there a promise of a milkshake for coming here?”

___________________

A mighty good turkey burger, a fantastic milkshake and a friendly face treating her like long lost family. While Granny was busy with other customers, she had made sure that Dorothy felt welcome by sharing gossip and making a list of how she and Ruby could help around the house.

Now nothing felt right about being here. The most important part of this house was missing. And after sitting like this for hours Ruby still hadn’t moved or said a single thing. Dorothy had never felt so helpless her whole life. In the past at least she could always scream and throw herself against an enemy. Witches or monsters or people telling her she was crazy.

Ruby stirred in the loose embrace. But instead of saying something or standing up, she let herself fall to the side, resting her head on Granny’s chest. Her feet pushed against Dorothy, demanding to be given more room so she could curl up, without making eye contact or uttering a single sound. Dorothy took the silent cue and got off the bed.

Instead of standing up, she got on her knees, so she could be eye-level with Ruby. “I’m gonna go get a glass of water. If there is anything I can do for you. Just say so.” Her throat was dry, pushing out the words was not easy. Especially because she knew how hollow they were. A part of her expected Ruby to get angry, demanding her grandmother to be brought back to life. Asking the impossible of Dorothy, to show how little she could actually do. But there was still no response.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a couple of minutes,” she slowly stood up and then leaned forward to place a soft kiss against Ruby’s temple. “You’re not alone in this, Wolfie.”

She picked up her gloves and her weapons she had left in the hallway. Not knowing what this crisis was about had her come prepared. But a sharp sword and pointy arrows were useless now. She put the things in Ruby’s old room, where they had stayed together the handful of times they’d been here. Dorothy also made sure to stash the slippers away and put on boots instead.

She went straight to the diner kitchen. Most of the lights were off, the place eerily silent. Only Snow and Belle sat in a booth, the baby stroller with Belle’s daughter next to them. Snow got up when she saw Dorothy come in.

“How is she? And also, how are you?” Snow pulled her in for another hug. They were so big on hugs here. Something Dorothy still needed to get used to, but today it felt like the only appropriate response.

“I honestly don’t know,” she said, waiting for Snow to sit down and scoot over. “She hasn’t said a single word. She sits and just stares at…” New tears began to make their way. Belle pushed a box of tissues to her. “Thanks. What’s this,” she gestured to the papers on the table.

“It’s not like we have a lot of bureaucracy left, but Snow helped me go through some papers.” Belle stacked up pages and put them in a file.

“We didn’t know what to do. Sadly we had our fair share of funerals and I can accompany Ruby when she makes the arrangements or she can let me handle it, if she’d rather not…” Snow’s voice trailed off and she sunk back against her seat. “We buried Red’s mother together in the woods. But this… we all thought Granny would outlive us all.”

“She was fine yesterday when I said goodnight,” Belle added in a monotone voice. It was a sentence she had told a lot of people today. Then she looked up at Dorothy. “We didn’t wanna disturb you, but Mr Todd, the mortician, was already here. He wanted to take,” she inhaled, “the body. He’s parked out in front of the inn. It’s why we moved over here.”

Dorothy stared at her hands on the table. They were balled to fists and only now she realized her jaw was clenched again. “I’m not sure Ruby is ready to let go. What was she like when her mother died?” She turned to Snow. “She told me the story, that it was an accident, but it was to protect you, right?”

Snow nodded. “It was a rather surreal experience. Red had just found Anita and she had helped her with the wolf. But it turned out Anita was rather focused on that part of her life and Red was still recovering from killing Peter,” she shrugged, clearly unable to put everything from back then into a few words of wisdom. “It was so much to process, we were on the run, there was no time to mourn. I don’t know if I was any help back then with my own… stuff going on. When we found our cabin Red decided to go back for Granny and solitude suited me just fine for a while.”

“So after everything she went back to Granny.”

“She would always go back to her. And eventually Granny joined us. Helped us.” Silence fell once again.

Dorothy got up to finally drink that glass of water she needed. She rummaged in the kitchen to throw together a somewhat passable sandwich and went upstairs again. Of course it looked like Ruby hadn’t moved at all. Her head was still resting on Granny’s chest that lacked the soothing up and down movement of breathing.

“I made you something to eat.” She put the plate and a bottle of water on the nightstand. “Can you please talk to me? I don’t expect anything. Just let me know you understand that I am here for whatever it is you need.”

Ruby’s eyes shifted from the blank stare on the wall and she met Dorothy’s gaze. The sparkle, kindness, joy and love were gone. Dorothy had seen Ruby cry more than once. But this wasn’t sadness, there was just – nothing. It was impossible to read any emotion. Anger, grief, bitterness, so many understandable reactions. But she was more like a second empty body on the bed.

“Maybe you want to change? Or shall I get Belle for you, so she can tell you what happened? Snow is still downstairs, ready to be with you every step of the way.”

Like you two used to be, she added in her thoughts. Dorothy wanted to help Ruby in any way possible, and if it meant getting other people, because she alone wasn’t enough that was okay. The others had seen Ruby and Granny together, they knew so much about the relationship that had been severed today.

“If you tell me to go, I’ll go. And if you want me to stay, I’ll stay. No talking necessary beyond that point.”

Silence.

It started to freak Dorothy out. Ruby had made jokes in serious situations, making light of possible injuries. She had confessed doing horrible acts during times of war with tears in her eyes in the dead of night. She was quick to express her joy over the smallest things, insisting on living life to the fullest. One time Dorothy even saw rage building up, a terrifying sight Ruby had apologized for. But all of those moments had left Dorothy with options on how to react.

“Okay, I tell the others… well, I don’t know what,” Dorothy sighed and went downstairs again. Maybe it was selfish, but she could not watch Ruby like that. And she didn’t trust herself that she wouldn’t yell at her soon to force something out of her. She did not want to force Ruby to anything at all.

Snow and Belle were still sitting in the booth. The papers put away and two cups of tea on the table.

“No change.” Dorothy sat down beside Snow again, feeling defeated.

“Maybe I should go and talk to her. She shouldn’t be alone ri-“

“You think I don’t care enough?” Dorothy snapped. Instantly regretting her words, but realizing her fuse got shorter by the minute of not being able to help Ruby. “Sorry, it’s just… I want to wrap her up in my arms, tell her it’s gonna be okay again. But I don’t know that. And she is… she is there, but she isn’t. And I don’t know if talking to her makes it better or worse. Should we smother her? Or leave her alone, until she wants that embrace and all the lies we tell ourselves so life can go on?”

She knew she should be crying about Granny, the life lost and the hole it left right in the heart of Storybrooke. But this time the tears were all for Ruby. And there was no holding back.

Snow tried to put an arm around Dorothy’s shoulders, but she shook it off. “I don’t need the pity. Or sympathy. Or whatever. It’s about Ruby…” She wiped the tears away with her sleeve, but they just wouldn’t stop coming.

Dorothy felt too exposed and embarrassed, so she stood up. Maybe fresh air for five minutes would help. But when she reached the door she paused and peeked through the drawn blinds. “Guys…”

Snow and Belle who had exchanged some loaded looks, unsure of how to handle Dorothy, joined her. People were gathered outside. The November sun was setting already and darkness falling over Storybrooke. But there were people illuminating the street with candles.

Henry put down a flower in front of the little fence and stepped back so Emma could put her arms around him. David was talking to Archie, lighting a candle with his. The dwarves huddled together on the side. It looked like half of Storybrooke came together.

“Should we say something? These are your people, I guess,” Dorothy wanted to catch the outpouring love and show it to Ruby.

“Yes, I will… maybe just thank them. I hope they don’t expect Ruby to show up.”

Snow stepped through the front door and Dorothy went upstairs yet again. To her surprise Ruby was sitting on the bed and looked up when she entered.

“Hey, you.”

“Hey.” Her voice was monotone, but at this point any acknowledgement was progress.

“Anything I can do for you?” Dorothy asked, trying her best not to sound pushy or overbearing.

“No.”

Ruby looked down on the floor and before she would lose all focus again Dorothy offered her a hand. “There is something you may want to see. People are gathering in front of the diner.”

After a few seconds Ruby took the hand and let Dorothy pull her up. “You don’t have to.” Dorothy stepped right in front of Ruby, trying to catch her eyes again. She genuinely only wanted to find out what Ruby needed right now.

“It’s okay. Let’s go.”

Ruby didn’t hold on tight, but didn’t let go either and so Dorothy lead her down the stairs, through the connecting hallway and into the diner. Maybe seeing some other people would help her to open up, so she wouldn’t be alone with those thoughts. Dorothy noticed how Ruby’s free hand kept contact with the walls, the banister and touched the chairs and tables in the diner.

Belle turned around, a sympathetic smile forming on her face immediately. “Hey, Ruby.”

It was the moment Snow stepped back in and they had a good look through the open door. Just two seconds and Dorothy felt Ruby tense next to her. Her hand suddenly gripping way too tight and her body going rigid.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to go outside. If it’s too much we can just sit here,” Dorothy turned and placed herself between the door and Ruby. “They are here to pay their respect. You are not expected to do anything.”

Dorothy was carefully rubbing Ruby’s upper arm, hoping to get her to release that tension, but instead Ruby took a step back. She pulled her hand out of Dorothy’s, retreating further.

“This is not right.”

“Red…”

When Snow stepped up, Ruby held up a hand.

“No.” Even with only one syllable her voice was shaking. The other three exchanged looks. They were ready to jump in should this be the moment Ruby would physically break down. But instead she ran the other way.

“Ruby, wait,” Dorothy was right behind her, catching her as she was in the middle between the stairs and the front door of the inn, looking from one to the other. “I am not the person to tell you to calm down, there is nothing to calm down. But please, talk to me. Cry or scream or yell or just tell me to grab stuff you can smash.”

“I need to run.”

This was the one answer Dorothy didn’t like. Not that she would want to restrain the wolf, but Ruby had set up a rule for herself to not change when she was upset.

“It’s not a full moon. It’s not wolfstime yet,” Snow said.

Dorothy shot a look at her. “I’m afraid that doesn’t matter as much as you might think.”

Ruby dropped the cloak on the floor and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths.

“You told me not to let you do this if you seemed to not be in control.” Dorothy’s voice was firm as she blocked the exit. “I support you and your practice, but not now.”

Ruby opened her eyes. They flickered golden. Her jaw was clenched and she shoved Dorothy out of the way as if she were made out of straw. By the time her feet hit the veranda they were changing to paws. In the jump down thestairs Ruby transformed into her wolf form, letting out a howl the second she touched the ground.

“Ruby!”

The wolf looked back to the door for a brief second and was already gone the next.

“What did just happen? Dorothy, since when can Ruby change like that?” There was concern in Snow’s voice.

Dorothy leaned against the open frame of the door, hands pressed flat against the wood, sinking forward. “A while.”

___________________

“Joining me for breakfast or just going to sleep now, Wolfie?” Dorothy was sitting in front of her little hut, soaking up the first rays of sunlight, a mug of coffee in hand. Bringing a can of the instant stuff had been a genius move. Well, more like a box of cans.

Ruby was smiling at her, shoving the hood of her cloak back. “Are you offering me breakfast in bed by any chance?” She straddled Dorothy’s legs and sat down on her lap, facing her.

Dorothy put her arms around Ruby’s neck, holding the coffee mug right behind her head, so she wouldn’t steal it. “Sounds like a lame deal on my end.”

Ruby leaned forward, but caught herself. “Oh no, wolf breath, sorry.”

“Oh please, that’s just in your head. You smell like a pile of leaves.” To rest her case Dorothy closed in for the kiss. “So, how was your run? Felt any different?”

“Actually it did,” Ruby rested her head on Dorothy’s shoulder, pushing her arms around her waist. “It’s like during wolfstime my body knows exactly what to do and it changes back with the first sunlight. But on normal days it’s harder. Especially changing back without the cloak. Kinda hurts, so thanks for spreading it out. Was comfy to crawl underneath.” She placed a gentle kiss on Dorothy’s neck.

“So you think you will start wolfing out on me during the day soon?”

“I don’t want to push it that far. But once…,” she made a pause Dorothy knew better than to disturb. This was her confession voice. “Once I met someone who showed me his wolfeyes during the day. So I think it is possible. But first… first I want to learn to shift back during the night on my own. At least outside of wolfstime.”

“No blackouts or unusual urges?” She wasn’t afraid of Ruby, but she was concerned for her.

“Nope. Total control.”

“You would tell me otherwise, right?”

“You’re the one I will tell everything, Kansas.”

“I’ll always listen.” Dorothy turned her head so she was able to kiss her forehead.

The moment was quiet and intimate, the closeness sending goosebumps down Dorothy’s spine. It was still so new to her, that somebody was filling all these spaces in her heart.

She had to break it up, before her insides would turn into mush. So Dorothy set the mug on the bench beside her, grabbed Ruby firm around the waist and stood up.

“It’s naptime, lady.”

“What are you doing?” Ruby let out a squeak and like every other time Dorothy tried to carry her, struggled out of her arms. “I do the heavy lifting around here.”

“Are you calling me heavy?”

“No, I’m just sleep deprived.”

They went inside and headed straight to bed. Like most nights when the wolf was out running alone, Dorothy had been drifting in and out of sleep. She was never sure if she was worried about Ruby or just missing her. Probably both.

It was scary how easy the habit of sleeping alone had turned on her.

The coffee was getting cold outside, while the two let their clothes fall to the floor and got under their blankets. Ruby was sound asleep in no time. Dorothy enjoyed the warm body pressed against her front for a few minutes. It was already the best part of her day.

___________________

Dorothy sat on the cold stone steps, where sleep had finally claimed her in the night. Belle had been unable to convince her to come inside, but had at least wrapped her in a blanket. Now she came back out with a steaming cup of tea.Dorothy stirred awake, feeling someone stepping in her personal space.

“Ruby?”

“No, I’m afraid it’s just me.” Belle leaned down to hand the cup over. “So she hasn’t returned yet?”

They both looked over to where Dorothy had fixed the red cloak between two chairs, easy enough for the wolf to get under.

“No,” Dorothy sighed. As she tried to sit up straight the bones in her body protested, so she drank the tea as a peace offering to warm up. “Snow would’ve called if she turned up at her place, right?”

“I’m pretty sure anyone would have. Maybe except for Leroy.”

“Kinda wish she went to him. They would’ve just gotten drunk.” Dorothy didn’t want to think about all the scenarios where an upset werewolf could end up. She wasn’t even sure she could or would want to picture the worst case here.

“She’ll come back.” Belle put her hand on Dorothy’s shoulder, a gentle offer of comfort. “Listen, I have to get my daughter ready for the day, but I thought I’ll put a sign up in the library that it will be closed for today. And then we will be all yours.”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to d-“

“I want to. Besides in this town people are used to infrequent opening hours. They will only complain if the Rabbit Hole stays shut or…” Her voice fell.

“Or Granny’s doesn’t feed them,” Dorothy looked up and touched Belle’s hand with her own, giving a light squeeze. It felt weird and not very natural to her. They didn’t know each other well, but Dorothy understood that this was an appropriate response and what Ruby would give back.

“You should take a shower, get dressed and if Ruby isn’t back by then we will start making calls and search for her, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

Dorothy had to walk past Granny’s room and felt a pain in her chest again. The body had been taken away last night after Ruby had left. But still Dorothy had to check and opened the door. What if she had snuck back in?

But no, the bed was empty. The water and the sandwich were still on the nightstand. Dorothy decided to eat it herself while she found some more Storybrooke appropriate clothes to wear. Even though she hadn’t been here much, she did have her own drawer in Ruby’s room already.

The shower helped to chase the tiredness away and right when Dorothy went back outside, Belle arrived from her short trip, pushing the stroller. The red cloak still sat undisturbed in its place. Belle picked it up, stroking the rich pattern with her hands.

“You are sure she can change back without it, right?”

“Yes, the cloak is mostly there so she won’t turn against her will during the nights of wolfstime. It helps her change back on other days, but she doesn’t need it.” Dorothy took the cloak from her and without thinking too much, pressed it against her body. “When the sun comes out the wolf is pushed back.”

“But the witch in DunBroch trapped her in that form for a long time.” Dorothy had explained it all to Snow and Belle last night, but Belle needed to make sure she didn’t miss vital information.

“And I think she is trying to find a way to take control at all times. I know it’s what she wants and it’s a good thing, but right now I’m worried.”

After thoroughly searching the B&B and the diner, their first order of business was to call Snow, who had heard nothing from Ruby. “I’m gonna talk to David. He and Emma can maybe figure something out at the sheriff’s station.”

“It’s not like she is officially a missing person, yet.” It wasn’t a bad idea, but Dorothy was reluctant to blow this out of proportion. If she admitted Ruby was missing and not out without a specified time when she’d be back, it meant admitting she had no clue what to do next.

“Dorothy, it’s okay. Finding people is what we do.” She could practically see Snow’s face with that smile that spelled out hope.

“Get me when they want to start searching the woods.”

“Of course.”

Dorothy hung up and turned to Belle. “Are you up for a potential unpleasant walk through the city?”

“I have sensible shoes and a warm jacket.”

“Good, then tell me where to find the funeral home. Maybe Ruby went back to where…,” one deep breath, “where Granny currently is.”

___________________

Mr. Todd was happy to see Dorothy and Belle in a very polite way that fitted his profession. But Dorothy couldn’t be bothered for long with pleasantries.

“I don’t know how to broach the subject delicately, so was there by any chance a disturbance last night?” She had looked around outside, but hadn’t seen any signs of a broken window. As a wolf Ruby wasn’t good with doors.

“I am not quite sure what you mean.”

“I’m sorry, but was anybody in here last night? Or maybe even still is?” Belle tried a smile. “Our friend was very… upset during the night and we wanted to make sure she, well, didn’t try to break in here.”

A bewildered look appeared on Mr. Todd’s face. “I haven’t been in long. Please give me a minute.”

He vanished behind a door. Dorothy wanted to follow, but Belle held her back. “Let him look on his own.”

Dorothy let out a long sigh. “I just want to find her. Sooner than later. Before we have to search the entire woods.”

“Me, too.”

Mr. Todd returned and had no unusual findings to report. He did however produce paperwork.

“I respect that your friend is not able to handle this right now. But I am afraid there are some matters that do need to be discussed about how I should proceed from here. I hoped the younger Miss Lucas would be able to see me today.”

Dorothy stared at the forms. She had a sudden urge to rip them up and yell about bureaucracy. About how she had more important things to do. And what was so hard about putting people in a coffin so others could say one final goodbye. But this man wasn’t the source of her problems.

“We will take these now and maybe come back later,” Belle put the papers into the large bag dangling from the stroller. “Thank you so much.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Dorothy was already at the door, craving fresh air.

They walked back in silence for a few minutes. Dorothy lightly kicked lamp posts and street signs to keep herself from screaming.

“You know what I would do first thing if somebody came to me about a missing person? I’d go to Ruby. But when my girlfriend is the one missing…”

The corners of Belle’s lips turned up a bit, she was trying to hide a smile, but Dorothy caught it.

“What?”

“I’m sorry, this is not the time, but I think it’s nice, the way you talk about her. Your girlfriend.”

“Well, she is.” Against her will Dorothy felt a warm rush run through her body. She would not be embarrassed about admitting her feelings in the middle of the street now. Belle wasn’t teasing her, she was genuinely happy for them.

The few times they had visited Storybrooke, Dorothy had barely left Ruby’s side. She had been happy to tag along, exchange a bit of smalltalk and observe rather than to interact. These were Ruby’s friends. The most one on one moments she had shared had been with Granny. To the point where Ruby had been out and Dorothy stayed behind to help her around the inn.

“It’s all just so wrong, you know.” Walking past a low dry wall Dorothy sat down, burying her hands in the pockets of Ruby’s leather jacket. “Ruby should be sitting at home, going through the motions, where I stand in the background finding out how to help, while you guys come in and out bringing food and words of wisdom and show how socially adequate you all are. But no, Ruby was so overwhelmed she wolfed out, I couldn’t do jackshit about it and now you push all your niceness unto me. The way Snow did all last night. And nobody even has the time to stop and think about Granny! She is dead! Unlike Ruby she can’t return.”

She couldn’t stop the words from spilling out, but at least held the tears back. It was like a sixty-forty split between anger and all the saddening emotions about the fate of the Lucas women who had become her family. And she would not cry out in the open now.

Belle made sure to only just lean against the dirty stones, but did so awfully close to Dorothy.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say so much all at once. And also getting so many things wrong.”

Dorothy made fists and shoved the jacket a bit higher while hunching over, so she could hide her mouth behind the zipper. She firmly kept it shut and blinked a few times, her fight against the tears a success.

“I care very much about Granny. She took me in and made me feel better when I had to face that my true love had screwed me over time and again. But right now I can’t do anything for her. I want to find her granddaughter, who is my friend. Just the same as you are.”

Dorothy turned her head. “Am I?”

“Okay, maybe Ruby is more of a friend. But only because I’ve known her longer. And when we met it was a… turbulent time, even for Storybrooke standards. But I like her and anyone she talks about the way she talks about you must be a good person I would want to know better.”

“Sorry your true love sucks,” was all Dorothy could come up with, to not talk about their debatable friendship status.

Belle let out a hoarse laugh. “Maybe we should have that particular between-friends conversation, when I stop nursing and can have a drink first.”

“Well, Ruby told me a lot about you all and some things seem weird. You and Gold…” Dorothy said, although it wasn’t her intention to overstep. “But I guess, it’s true love. Everything about that is weird. I didn’t know Ruby’s favorite color, but I knew I was ready to protect her with everything I’ve got. And then she breaks a curse for me.”

“True love is weird. They should make a card for that.” Belle stood up. “Come on, moping around doesn’t seem to be your style. And it’s blue by the way.”

“What?”

Belle started walking again. “Ruby’s favorite color. Everybody assumes it’s red. It’s the color she is drawn to. But red is more about who she is, not what she likes.”

___________________

Dorothy checked the whole house again, but there was no sign anybody had been in. The red cloak still lay at the reception desk.

David called with a list of people who had seen exactly nothing.

“I’m sure Ruby is fine. She knows these woods pretty well.”

“If you’re trying to make me feel better, that didn’t work. Because all that’s telling me is that she knows how to hide.”

“The dwarves said they’d go on a search with us. Pick you up in ten?”

“I’ll be ready.”

“Good, can I talk to Belle, maybe she can look after Neal.”

Belle agreed to stay at home, where she could look after the kids and call if anything should come up. Dorothy found herself in David’s pick-up next to Snow.

“We know some of the spots Ruby liked to run around, so I gave Leroy some directions. Emma is meeting us with Henry further down the road,” David said.

“Thanks for doing this. I know half a day might not be much time to go missing-,” Dorothy still would rather downplay her own concern, but Snow wouldn’t let her.

“Oh no, we have started taking missing people very serious around here. We’ve learned. And I need to know she’s okay. If she doesn’t want me around fine, but she has to say it to my face first.”

“Huh, with everything she told me, it never came up that you are a pushy person.”

Snow grinned at that. “Then she left out the best parts.”

David parked behind Emma’s yellow bug and climbed out of his truck a map already in hand. Dorothy held on to Ruby’s cloak, bunching up the fabric in her hands. After a few seconds she decided to better leave it in the car for now. It was unlikely Ruby was still a wolf anyway, right?

“Hey,” Emma greeted Dorothy. One of the few people here who didn’t throw hugs around. “I’m sorry. I mean, with everything that is happening right now.”

“Thanks. Also for helping with this.”

“Ruby is my friend, so. Not that I wouldn’t do it for somebody else, because I’m also sheriff. But, yeah, I want to find her, too.” The other thing Dorothy liked about Emma was her way of stumbling through words, a little less inclined to impromptu uplifting speeches.

“Maybe it’s obvious to anyone but me,” Henry cut in, “but why haven’t we asked Mom to use a locator spell?”

David and Emma looked at each other. Had they even thought about that option?

“Asking a witch for help was not on my list of things,” Dorothy answered with some bite in her voice. She had met Regina once. it had been a very civil encounter. But the ground rule was firmly established, as long as she kept Zelena out of sight, when Dorothy was in Storybrooke, all would be fine.

This was the one thing that could get Dorothy’s blood pressure going. For all the modern charm, the overall okay people and lovely things like the cocktail happy hour at the Rabbit Hole, there was a wicked witch still roaming around like she hadn’t killed one of Dorothy’s few friends right before her eyes.

“Regina would use it as an opportunity to question why we even have a sheriff’s department if she has to do all the work,” Snow said, in an attempt to defuse the situation. “So how about we spread out now? I’ll go with Dorothy this way and we meet up at the stream again.”

They went their ways and started to call out Ruby’s name every few minutes at first. Not that any of them thought there would be a response.

Dorothy hoped Snow wouldn’t try to come up with smalltalk, because she was not in the mood, but instead there was a sudden short laugh.

“What can possibly be funny now?”

“Sorry, nothing actually. But I just saw some rabbit tracks on the ground.”

“We are looking for wolf prints, those would be-“

“Huge, yes, I know. Eight inches across, with big long claws.” Snow laughed again. “I don’t know what she told you, but the first day I met Red, we ended up tracking the wolf. It was the first thing she taught me. How to recognize and follow animal trails.”

“You were there when it happened, right? When she found out. When… well, Peter. You met him?” Dorothy knew the story, she knew a lot about the journey from Red to Ruby. And maybe she should leave it at that, but getting another perspective made her curious.

“I saw him once. Never talked to him, but it was obvious they were in love. Everything happened pretty fast that day.”

“That seems to be the case with Ruby a lot,” Dorothy said, picking up the pace.

“Sometimes you meet people and just know they will be important in your life. Even if you’re separated you already know you’ll be drawn to each other again.”

Snow drifted a bit further away from Dorothy, so the conversation stopped, but after a few minutes Snow got back to it.

“It took decades until I saw that look on Red’s face again. The love I mean. It scared her.”

“You’re an expert on all things love or do you just know her so well?”

“I decide to overlook that sarcastic undertone. Because yes, she’s my friend and she has been for a very long time. I know her. And I wanted to say thank you for putting this kind of love back into her life.”

“If you say so…”

“Hey, is there something you want to say to me? Or did I say something wrong?”

“I don’t know, did you? Is this a trip down memory lane? The first time I met Ruby,” she put a bit more emphasize on the name than she intended to, “she chased away my dog, who ended up in Zelena’s hands. You know, the witch youkeep harboring in your town. Who send her flying monkeys after us. That story is not so quaint.”

“Do you think we have a contest here? The day I met her was probably the worst of her life. And I wished so long I could take it back. But then we would never have built our friendship the way we did. I’m sure you’re leaving out some good parts from that night you’ve met, too.”

Dorothy stopped so abruptly, that Snow almost ran into her. “Well… we did talk. And she was so… herself. I did mind walking around with her a lot less by the minute. Until… monkeys tried to kill us.”

“But you escaped that. Together.”

Dorothy looked Snow in the eyes. She tried to find out what Ruby had told her about that particular escape. “Do you have a question?”

Snow shook her head. “No. And if you think this is all to one up you, trying to make it seem I know her better, believe me, there is no competition. Red was my best friend, but she is Ruby now and I missed some steps there.”

“The curse thing.”

“Yes, the curse thing.” Snow decided it was a good point to get back to walking. “Red never went after her own happiness. And I have often wondered if she would have eventually. But Regina cursing us, it changed everybody.”

“Ah, I get it. You forgave Regina. She has redeemed herself and not everything she ever did was pure evil. I don’t want to talk about Zelena on my good days and I sure as hell don’t want to talk about her, when I’m out in the woodstrying to find my girlfriend, who has just lost the only family she had left.”

Dorothy kept as calm as she could. There was no way she would talk about that witch now. However Snow’s reaction wasn’t to back off, in fact she raised her voice the slightest bit.

“Actually it was more about how some very bad things happen and in the end we find silver linings. With Peter’s death, Regina’s curse. And me admitting that I don’t know Ruby as well as I ever knew Red, because Mary Margaret and

Ruby didn’t mix for the longest time.”

“Oh.”

Snow stopped again and rubbed her eyes, she had to fight against sobs. “But I don’t know what good could possibly come out of Granny dying in her sleep like this. You don’t need to remind me why we are here right now.”

Dorothy had never been alone with Snow before. Even though she was the person Ruby talked most about besides Granny. This conversation made her seem far more like a real person, emotional and flawed, but with this underlying sense that things could turn out all right again. Dorothy realized that she did believe in hope as much as Ruby made it sound. And even though this talk had almost taken a confrontational turn, it made Dorothy feel better.

“Well, this situation forced us to talk. And I’m a bit less jealous of all the things Ruby told me about you. Guess that counts for something?”

Dorothy stood next to Snow and awkwardly put her hand up, but decided against a pat on the back or going for a hug. But she remembered a pack of tissues in the pocket of her jacket and offered it to Snow.

“Jealous?” She blew her nose.

“Maybe not the best term. But Ruby has a way of telling your stories, despite how hard it got or how hopeless it seemed, you had each other. You were there when she woke me up and later that seemed so strange to me.”

“I was in a hurry to get home to my son. Under different circumstances I would’ve stayed a bit longer. I was curi-“

Snow stopped mid-sentence. There was a howl. The sun was already setting in the sky, yet night was still away for a while. But a wolf howl cut through the forest.

“You don’t think…”

They looked at each other. Confusion and worry on their faces. It was hard to pinpoint the exact direction, but they both started to move again. Almost running.

“I thought we were looking for Ruby now.”

“Me, too. I know Mulan met her as a wolf during the day, but she was under a spell then.”

They heard another howl, it was less intense, already a bigger distance away.

“We can’t catch her like this,” Snow said, coming to a halt. “If this is really her, if she’s in her wolf form…”

Dorothy opened her mouth, she wanted to protest, but nothing came to mind. She had thought about finding tracks that lead to a devastated Ruby, curled up in the underbrush somewhere. Sitting on the river bank, pretending this wasn’t Storybrooke. Maybe even a hurt Ruby, who couldn’t get back on her own.

“Snow! Snow!” It was David screaming her name.

“We’re here!”

They stopped, David and the others caught up with them, but then nobody knew what to say. They just stood there, listening to another howl and exchanging worried looks.

“So,” was all Emma could come up with.

“Yeah,” Snow agreed.

Dorothy was screaming inside. She had talked with Ruby about exploring her wolf side and it was all reasonable. She had accompanied her on some nights and there was no fear, just the appropriate amount of respect. But the one thing they had agreed on was that Ruby should never try this in an upset state of mind. And Dorothy had failed to keep her from changing last night, under the worst possible emotional circumstance. So this was on her now.

David’s cellphone vibrated, the dwarves had heard the wolf as well and were as surprised. This called for a retreat to come up with a better idea on how to handle things. On the drive back into town Snow tried to go for comfort.

“Maybe she just needs one more night. And tomorrow morning she will come back home, exhausted and safe.”

It was a cheap lie, but Dorothy wanted to cling to something. The tiniest shred of hope that this situation would not get worse.

“Maybe. I’ll keep her cloak out again.”

When they arrived at the B&B Belle greeted them, but the shaking of David’s head was all the confirmation she needed, that they hadn’t found Ruby.

“Neal was a perfect little angel. So whatever you want to do next, I can be your designated babysitter for as long as you need.”

Dorothy set down on the sofa and buried her face in her hands. “It got more complicated,” she muffled. “We didn’t find Ruby, because it seems she never changed back into her human form.”

“During the day? She was a wolf all day long?” Belle looked from one to the other.

“Still roaming the woods. We heard her howl.”

For a brief second it looked like Belle wanted to protest that maybe there was an actual wolf out there and they got confused, but she stopped herself. They all knew better.

“Is there anything we could do here, Belle? Otherwise I want to take my son home and need to think about this,” Snow said.

Belle looked at Dorothy and shook her head. “No, go home, we’re okay here. Some time to think sounds good right now.”

David and Snow left with Neal and Belle went upstairs to look after her daughter. Dorothy finally took off the jacket, but grabbed Ruby’s cloak and played with the familiar fabric in her hands. She held it up to her nose and took a deep breath with closed eyes. She didn’t need a heightened sense of smell for this.

Reluctantly Dorothy went to the front desk and picked up the phone. A list with important numbers was lying next to it and she quickly found who she was looking for.

“Hallo Regina, it’s Dorothy. I know I’m the last person you expected to hear from, but I need a favor.”


End file.
